The Circus That is the Philippine Senate

The Philippine senate has housed great Filipino noblemen. Dignified Homo sapiens who respond to such names: Claro M. Recto, Manuel Quezon, Manuel Roxas, Ferdinand Marcos, Benigno Aquino jr., etc.

See the beaconing light of great intellectuals whose voices hauled through the four walls of the legislative hall that has witnessed Philippine history, where Jose P. Laurel once pronounced his love for country than religious love. Oh, I have always dreamed to invent a time machine (for myself), just to give a suave ear to the thrilling rhetorics of Ninoy and the might of words that pass through the lips of Manuel Quezon.

To (have a very delayed) tribute to its 95th year of existence in the Philippine society, I would like to argue and cite some cute (yet sarcastic, really) realizations on the Philippine Senate of today- a senate whose chairs are occupied by aliens who captured the public's votes because of their 'stupid [political] jingles' as pop-activist Lourd de Veyra cites in his 'This is a Crazy Planets' book. A view that hails from this 15 year-old high school undergraduate activist.

The current senate is composed of different species. There are pure men of wisdom. There are pure men of dullness, too. Positively speaking, there is equilibrium in the senate, that which lately became more of a judicial body than that of being a legislative- a court of hooly-baloonies who even became a 'Face-to-Face' stadium for a major pornographic issue last 2009. I can't give a fearless forecast for a possible investigation on the Piolo-Kc break-up that became a controversy that tickled the tickable parts of soul, body, and mind. (Who knows, a senate-inquiry on Piolo Pascual's sexuality would soon exist. But still, I believe that God is merciful.)

The 15th Congress- the Senate of the Republic of the Philippines. (In their, 'oh, f*ck habits.)

Our senate is currently spearheaded by the oldest-existing politician (as my faith serves me) in the republic of Malay-Hispaniacs. Senator Juan Ponce Enrile, who wants you to be happy, will be remembered in history, aside from being a senate president, as one of the contributing hero of EDSA People Power when he turned his back from the dictator of more than two decades. JPE, though, still has the guts amidst his mere barren stature. His will power and sharpness of memory makes him a Thomas More of our time. But yet, there are dark and evil books hidden in the dark library of this man's being. We must never ought to forget that Enrile was once a Marcos boy- that must catalyze a doubt on some insights on evils during the fascist regime in the 70's.

Next to him in rank are both celebrities. The Senate Pro-Tempore and Majority floor leader, Sen. Jinggoy Estrada and Sen. Tito Sotto, respectively. Both actors are differentiated in their cinematic forte. Jinggoy, being a part successor of his father, former president Asiong, este, Joseph Ejercito-Estrada, is known for his participations in action-romantic motion pictures in the late-80s's and early 90's. While 'Tito Sen' as he is often called by the debarkads of Eat Bulaga, is known to be a comedian and a definite difference compared to his comrades, Vic (his brother) and Joey. I can't be too judgemental towards these men. Jinggoy is a graduate of UP, while Tito from Letran. The great leap of fate, is that, at least, they speak in fine and direct English than a celebrity-senator who added the term, 'four-plets' in the middle of the burning reproductive health debates. The guy is noted in the silver screen as, Leon Guerrero: the man who I idolize because of his Pinoy martial-art metaphysic (and not of his being a legislator), the committee chairman on the committee of silence, Sen. Lito Lapid, whom I met in my vacation in the province throwing candies to the starstrucked beings, whose appeal to me was a mere candidate for the province's governing chair. (Well, in fairness to Sen. Lito, aside from his love for the Filipino tongue, he will also be recalled to as the senator who legislated the law that cites the proper use of staplers.) Another celebrity, is ofcourse, a monogamist whose father was a polygamist celebrity-politician. Yeah, I'm pointing on Sen. Ramon 'Bong' Revilla, jr., whose desirable and macho-hot political will on the famous senate-circus trial of May 2009 made him a hero for pornographed ladies, that includes the crop of my carnal fanatsies, Katrina Halili.

And there you have a non-showbiz senate hunk, whose hotness caught the star for all seasons- Sen. Ralph Recto, who presents a very gentleman appeal.

Well, our two lady-senators are classified into two different classes: the Amazonic Joan-of-Arc and the modern Joan-of-Arcs . Ofcourse, I don't need to use a corny 'knock-knock' joke to sarcastisize Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago. The ever energetic 'Lokang Ilongga' senator whose academic legend is never to be questionned. Please, or else. Well, I'd disagree with the Philippine Panorama's citation of 'Brenda' (or Brenda Mage). I'd refuse to their statement that she is feared because of independent thinking-she's not feared for that, duh, she's feared for her monstrous being, for heaven's sake. But with all humility, PINTAKASI openly declares Senator Miriam as his favorite Philippine senator. Period. We also have lady-senators, Loren Legarda and Pia Cayetano. Loren, aside from fighting for her vice presidential victory (kuno) in the 2004 national elections, is also known as an evironmentalist, such as Pia is. The fact that she is a former broadcaster seems to be a blotted myth to some youngsters, today. Pia, ofcourse, is known to be the daughter of the late Senator Renato Cayetano, who was politcally motivated for the first time in the 2004 senatorial race. Pia is also a triathlete.

And back again to Pia Cayetano, a bloody connection exists with her and her brother, blue-ribbon committee chairman Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano who is rembered as one of the juvenile law-makers who were bold critics of the Arroyo administration. Alongside with him is Sen. Francis 'Chiz' Escudero and TJ Guingona, whose micmickable faces are somewhat compared to that of OPM rockstar Bamboo and British comic Mr. Bean, respectively. These young senators are young fruits of fine men. But when fruits are tackled, one of the recognized fruits is Senator Ferdinand Marcos- ooops, don't act rude- he's Ferdinand 'Bong-bong' Romualdez Marcos. He's not 'Apo Ferdy', for heaven's sake, alright? To probably object the past, (whoa!), is the senator who was added too late in the senate roaster, and only due to an honorable move of a (just recent) former senator, Senator Aquilino Pimentel, III. (Mga anak ng teteng.)

We also have three senators who're all products of the ever-hailed Philippine Military Academy- the factory of monstrous, evil, diabolic, demonic, (enough adjectives, it ain't enough to place 'em all.), etc. And all of them left significant footprints in Philippine history, and for being 'law-breakers'. We have Senators Gregorio "Gringo" Honasan, Panfilo "Ping" Lacson, and Anonio "Magdalo" Trillanes IV. They faced different cases. Gringo with Cory's fear of a coup. Ping with his murder acusations to PR man, Bubby Dacer. Trillanes and his fierce metropolitan mutinies. They are more than goons and patriots, volted as Voltes V.

We cannot of course, disregard the presence of UP produced legislators. Above them is Sen. Edgardo Angarra who was then the UP President. Another is the Mega Star's husband, Sen. Francis "Kiko" Pangilinan, who is remembered to be a varsity player for the volleyball team of the Fighting Maroons. And citing another product of my dream-school is former senate president, and would-have-been president (thanks to Noynoy and Erap, he's not), Sen. Manny Villar- the one who experienced the joys of swimming in a sea of filth.

When it comes to some Bisaya senators, we must cite the Cebuano-Ilonggo cross-bred Senator Sergio Osmeña, and justice-busters Senators Franklin Drilon and Joker Arroyo. The other guy is a big man of justice, while the other was a tortured victim of the martial law era.

Have I mentioned all?

Hopefully, yes.

Our senators, are metaphorically reflecting our current political awareness- the awareness eaten by the weirdness of our strangeness towards electing these human beings on the seats where they usually seat and talk with common human gestures, day by day, whose pockets are loaded with dumps of thousands of pesos that deeply comes from the perspirations of hard-working urban and rural laborers who fed their families with the incomes from which the senate budgets are pulled from. A senate that I wish to see is a body of wise intellects who are wise enough to speak with might and act with illuminated wisdom as the great ancient civilizations of Romans, Greeks, rennaisance, Philippine-propagandists, and 20th century were. Sad, to say, even though they have (hmmmmmp) [fine] intentions of [goodwill], (my God, save me!), there are some people who are authentically undeserving to have their shits, hmmm, I mean, seats on the legislative hall. I can't wait to see them bitter next year as they are bound to justify Corona's impeachment.

Well, nevertheless, people of the beloved republic of the Philippines, here are the colorful senators you elected, by the sole purpose of serving your interests. Enjoy.

(But please, I'm begging, please do not elect [especially] KRIS AQUINO, MANNY PACQUIAO, NORA AUNOR, MIKEE ARROYO, BUTCH ABAD, ELENA BAUTISTA-HORN, and [most especially] LEILA DE LIMA as senators. Damn, I'd rather join arms with the forlorn communists if ever these dumb asses be elected to the senate.)

Guerrilla Tactics: A Backward Fashion in the 21st Century (Mine Alone)

As I passed through the hallowed halls of Greenhills and SM Megamall, I felt a deep and inner-pity, not for myself, but for others. It is a matter of being fashionable- one of which I never imagined nor fantasized to journalize about.

Ofcourse, I'm a teenager, and what you'd expect from me, is the common suit, that is used by my fellow teenagers. But, sad to say, I felt (without boasting) an inner difference amongst these idle and poisoned colonial minded humans. This is why, without words, I humiliate myself as 'baduy' compared to the cycle of interrelationships that exists with me and my fellas'. I can't be too forlorn, for I am not a geek. It's just I attempt myself not to be a 'conyo', a gangster, a 'rakista', or a 'jejemon' when it comes to my 'japorms', or fashion outfit. I'm considering my own style that is far rough from that of my age- a fashion that is far different from those that I mentioned above. It's a fashion that mainly adapts my affection for guerilla standards that activists, hippies, John Lennon-wannabees, rebels, and Che Guevara fanatics would claim as their uniforms. Weird me, isn't it?

Although, in sharing, I felt my being 'sexy', when I wore my favorite expression shirt that expresses, TANGINA THIS! I concluded my being sexy because of the high appeal and cute reactions that I received chicks.

I'm just trying to practice my self-indoctrinated dogma of the quote, "while others pursue the right, I pursued the left." Jizz, its not just because I'm an activist, its just that I believe in my artistic medium- that is madness.

But this kind of fashion owns a deep meaning in my spirit. The simple way I wear my bonnet, or my cap (that has a red star) and wear my black shirt and (even) broken rubber shoes has a meaning- far from the way the many ignorant teens conceptualize of. Its my devotion to radical poverty.

To add up and full-pack my playlist, here are my unsolicited fashion tips for those who want to adapt this weird kind of being, that with all lowliness to claim: mine alone, the Guerilla Fashion:

1.) STUDY CHE GUEVARA. The  guy behind the hip and 'astig' image that Cubans (and even some Filipinos, especially the radicals, like me) merely venerate because of his realistic epic that serves as an inspiration to many armed leftists all-over the world, never alone fails to execute a unique fashion genre, but as well as a history of being a true warrior. But a true learning of his philosophy will validate you to be like him.

2.) ADORE LEGENDARY MUSICIANS. Listen and inhale the vibes of songs that were voiced by John Lennon, Bob Marley, Kurt Cobain, etc. For Filipino's sake listen and take in heart the hearty songs of the famous OPM folk band ASIN, Joey Ayala, APO Hiking Society, Heber Bautista, Francis Magalona, and (my favorite) Eraserheads. Ofcourse, make Lennon's 'Imagine' and ASIN's 'Tuldok' your personal national hymn.

3.) DEVOTE YOURSELF TO SAINT FRANCIS OF ASSISI, whose story of evangelical and radical poverty that astonished the materialstic church of that time. This may even help you earn the faith that Jesus Christ, who (for me and for many believers) is God became lowly and poor, inspite the fact that He owns all the riches of the whole world, really- that leads to the conclusion that He is one with the socialists.

4.) READ PABLO NERUDA. His poetic beats makes you a true guerilla.

5.) DO NOT LISTEN TO KRIS AQUINO. Her white 'peps' ain't tempting, really.

6.) OBSERVE LOURD DE VEYRA. Yeah, look at how weird he is, yet he rose to the popularity in the media world.

7.) JOIN ACTIVISTS. You may really never feel the soul of this fashion statement, without knowing it's true and authentic foundation, that is far from being a fashion. Be a common man. Be one with the fights against a colonial government and to earn the one true national socialist democracy. (Otherwise, you're a hypocrite.)

8.) PROFESS THAT YOU ARE A 'PETTY-BOURGEOIS'. For you really are, from the heart. You are not supposed to wear this if you're not a 'burgis'. To have a deeper understanding, please do search for the 1981 Lino Brocka film, "Burgis"- starring Gabby Concepcion and Amy Austria.

9.) DRINK SAN MIGUEL BEER AND SMOKE MARLBORO BLACK CIGARETTES. It's the true initiation for this fashion. You may only acquire a good voice in singing if you do so, says Rico J. Puno.

10.) YEAH, SHUT THE F*CK UP, KID! Study your lessons in class, before joining the guerilla revolution.


Speaks off, niggas'.